I have been having a difficult time figuring out what to post next since I did the intro of Mom, so I guess I will start with random thoughts of Mom. The past few days have been hard for me which in itself bothers me because you think that it has been 2 years shouldn't this be easier by now? How long does it take to grieve the loss of a very special person in your life???....(any answers are more than welcome :)) I unfortunately have some regrets when it comes to losing Mom. There are things I didn't say and do before we lost her, I would like to know how to get past just that hurt. There were other things going on when Mom was battling cancer that I let come before dealing with and understanding what Mom was going through. Not only was I pregnant and had a baby during this time but other issues with my marriage were happening as well. It was easy to block out that she was really sick and didn't have long to live. Or was it that I didn't want to face what was happening??? I am not sure and it could be both. To look back over the entire year or so it was going on, I would have done alot of things different. But that can't happen now, so how do I move on from that? These are just some of the struggles I deal with. She was my best friend and a very special Mom. When I am feeling down from this I also feel guilty for feeling that way because I have younger siblings that have no Mom or friend as well. I have a now 15 year old sister that has no Mom to help her through these very important and special years. I hope to be that "friend/sister" that can help her through these times. I guess the point of this post is.....there is no point!! LOL I feel just as this post is....LOST!!
I promise to make the next post better!!